Today marks 1 month since I returned to Austin. Tomorrow will be
the 7th aniversary of my brother's death. I've never felt more
lost in
my life.
I've both started a new job and returned to my old one. Working
some 70 hours a week I have yet to discover any direction. I keep
reflecting on my rapidly fading trip looking for meaning and I am left
answerless. What was my journey for? What was I searching
for? What was I running away from?
I know deep down that I really wanted to challenge myself. But
could that have been everything? Was I so desperate to prove my
worth to the world that I would take such chances, push such limits,
and for what? A few dozen rapidly fading memories. Where is
the grand meaning in it all? What do I have to show for my
journey? Why the hell did I decide to ride a dirtbike solo 9,000
miles to the Panama Canal and back?
For those of you that have not personally heard from me, I made it
home! I rode the final 800 miles from San Miguel de Allende to
Austin in one sitting. The closer I got, the harder it was to
stop. I had no idea that it was possible to ride the XR for 15
hours straight. Needless to say, I'm looking forward to some much
needed time apart from the bike. I'm also going to need some time
to compile the trip in my mind as a whole, so that I can express its
overall meaning to me. For now I'm just going to enjoy being
surrounded by friends and knowing that I don't have to hop on the XR
tomorrow.
Thanks to everyone who supported me on this journey, especially those
who added to this website. I now have some pictures up on the
photo page. http://tardypizza.com/gallery2/main.php
ted